This book is very deep

Words: 1,670
Time: 11 - 2:30 (1.5 hr break)
Mood: Mellow
Impression: Incredibly deep and revealing

When I was 17 years old I was deeply into spirituality. I meditated twice a day and had an incredible sense of calm about me. In fact, I was so calm that I felt I was detached. And what I wanted to do more than anything else was teach spirituality. But even at 17 I understood that I needed more life experience to teach about life.So I stopped doing everything that I was doing and entered life.

I am now a very experienced person in life. I have had experiences that I know that not too many other people will have. And man do those experiences inform all of my outside projects. That experience was the basis of the last book that I wrote, but I really didn't think that it would be a part of this one. Hell, this book is a somewhat humorous book about an alcoholic, talking penis. How could that be about me in any way?

Today, I wrote something that I had not planned to write and after I did I thought about it and realized that once again, this book is about me. Unlike the last book, this one is much less obvious about, but it is as well.

It seems that now I can't escape from myself if I tried. Now, all of the life experiences that I gave up my spiritual life for seeps out of me like the smell of garlic out of a man's pores. And there's nothing I can do about it but hope nobody minds. I think that I have to say that even though I tried to write this book for others, once again I am writing this book for myself. And like all masturbation, the most I can hope for is that there are people out there that want to watch. Oh well.

Slow going...

Words: 1,218
Time: 10:45 - 12:45
Mood: Distracted
Impression: It's fine

You know, at the beginning of every week I keep saying that I will write all 5 days this week. This week I only wrote 2 days. Life got in the way this week.

But the good thing is that I was supposed to finish the first half of the book this week, and I didn't know what the second half of the book was going to be about. However, I had an experience last Friday that completely inspired the second half of the book. Now the book will be extremely interesting. Before it was going to be funny and fine. But now it will be a truly unique story. I just hope it's not too 'out there'. After all, I already have a talking, alcoholic penis in the book. Where's that line between a good read and ridiculous. :-)

Slow but steady

Words: 1,535
Time: 9:50 - 11:45
Mood: Very good
Impression: It was very clever

I had a great Halloween weekend. Met one girl and went out with another and then played racquetball until my shoulder hurt. What else can a guy ask for?

I haven't written in a while because my motivation is slipping. I happen to like what I'm writing, but I'm starting to wonder if book buyers will like it too. I'm doing my best to make this book accessible but I'm struggling.However today I really liked what I wrote. It was very clever. And it was clever in the best way. The main character didn't seem to be clever, the author seemed to be clever.

But I'm also beginning to wonder if this book is becoming an allegory for sexual struggle. There are only so many gay jokes that you can have without wondering if there is something going on on a deeper level. Truly I think this book has way too many levels to be a humorous book about a talking penis. But hey, I don't have anything else better to do so I will keep writing.

I know how to make your penis bigger

Words: 2,023
Time: 11:45 - 1:35
Mood: Great
Impression: It did what it was supposed to do

I finally got to the part in the book where I describe how to enlarge a penis. I know that it wasn't supposed to be entertaining, but still I wish there was a way of describing it in a more entertaining way. It's not boring now, but still.

I decided not to write yesterday because I got up really late, and I was a little bummed that the readers of my other book hadn't finished reading the book yet. I thought it meant that they didn't like it. But surprisingly enough, one of the readers got back to me yesterday night. He says that he was enjoying it, so that gave me the motivation to keep writing this one. That isn't the only reason why I was bummed, but that was the main one.

When Penises Attack

Words: 1,692
Time: 12 - 2:15 (15 min break)
Mood: Very Good
Impression: I don't think that it's "laugh out loud" funny

Ya know, it's funny when you're writing and you introduce a character that seemingly has no significance but some how as the story progresses you starting thinking that she could be the romantic lead. The advantage is that the reader already knows the character, but certainly this is not what I was planning.

Secondly, I have made no bones about it, I am writing a book for the readers, not for me. Often times I ask myself will my readers like reading what I'm writing. I have to say that I'm not sure whether a person that gets this book will like what I'm reading. My instinct is to make this a deep novel. But I know that most of the people that get this book will be getting it to learn how to increase the size of their penis.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this issue. Because let's be real, if you want to know how to blow up your penis, I have posted the info online. So if you're going to buy the book, you are going to be expecting something more from the book. My answer is to give the read an interesting story. But maybe that's not the correct answer. I'm still considering this point, but mean while I'm approaching the halfway point of the book.

This is taking longer than I thought

Words: 1,726
Time: 11:45 - 2:05 (1/2hr break)
Mood: Neutral
Impression: This is feeling alike story about a black guy

So I took Friday off again. It was the beginning of chapter 5 and knew that it was going to different from the other chapters. And when I woke up Friday I knew that I didn't know what all was going to happen in the chapter. Even after I started to figure out where the chapter was going I still didn't feel like I had enough to get started.

The final piece came to me on Sunday night and when I realized it, I knew that it was the piece that I was waiting for. It's kind of strange the way this story is unraveling for me. Usually I write 5 days a week religiously and it feels more like dictation. With this story I feel like I'm struggling for every word and shift in the story. I'm not used to this. I think that the book is as good or better than what I've written before, but I'm not used to the process being so difficult.

What's also different from all of the other things that I've written is that this feels like it is written from the perspective of a black guy who grew up black American. That's unusual for me. I'm not from America so I wouldn't consider myself black American. In fact, black American culture is still a bit of foreign land to me.

All of my stories exist in a neutral middle class America. But this one definitely feels very different. It's not intentional, and I'm not even sure that it's welcome. But that is what's coming out so there it is. This is when I start hoping that books based in black culture can appeal to more than just black people. I assume that it will but I wonder if I will lose readers because of this fact.

How to jelq

Words: 846
Time: 11:15 - 2:15
Mood: Good
Impression: It's fine

I actually wrote more than 846 words today. But most of them were transcribing. After transcribing my 'jelqing or how to enlarge your penis' full length video I decided to not use the full transcription here. So after deleting 2,000 words, I wrote a little more to finish off the chapter and now I have only progressed the story forward by 846 words.

I'm not as happy today as I was yesterday. I need to figure out how to get back to my happy feeling. I think I need to play a little racquetball today.