Time: 11:15 - 1:15 (1/4hr break)
Mood: A little sad
Impression: It was fine
What I wrote yesterday kind of put me into a mental tailspin. On top of that it so happened that yesterday Oprah had a show on sex addicts that hit too close to home. And on top of that, I had to do a lot of home for my next 2 therapy sessions. It was too much. I was up until 4:30 am trying to unravel the knot that is my sexual history in preparation for therapy.
After only getting 5 hours of sleep I can at least say that I now understand it. I now understand why I have made the choices that I did as it pertains to sex and why I fell for the people that I did. And now I also understand why Happiness thru the Art of Penis Enlargement is turning out the way that it is. The characters are all manifestations of my subconscious. The main character, though not like me in a lot of ways, represents me in this psycho-dynamic. The talking penis... well, I'm not going to say what the talking penis represents.
In either case, on Wednesday I'm going to do this psychologically intensive process called EMDR. It is something that is supposedly going to change the way I look at life. The question is, how is it going to effect the story. If this book is a crazy representation of my own psycho-drama what happens if my personal psycho-drama dramatically changes. Hmmm... My god I feel nuts right now.