Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Should I be writing in this state?

Words: 1,866
Time: 11 - 3 (1hr lunch)
Mood: Depressed
Impression: A little darker than I was hoping

Yesterday was a bad, bad day. Because of my dark mood I was thinking about skipping racquetball league last night but at the last moment decided to go. I got my ass handed to me by everyone I played for the second week in a row. I even left early because what was the point in playing if I wasn't going to make an effort.

I drove away and knew that I needed the day to end as quickly as possible. So I pick up some Tylenol PM's and downed a few. I ate dinner, wrote yesterday's entry and once I got up I couldn't even get my legs to work. Maybe I took a few too many.

But in either case I was asleep within minutes but briefly woke up at 9pm, 10pm, 7am, and then 9pm. Each time was just for a minute or 2 so I still count that as 12 hours of sleep. I also woke up in a better mood so maybe it was a good thing. Unfortunately I also woke up still feeling drugged. I've never had a hangover, but I have to assume that the feeling was similar.

Even so I managed to write today, but I have to say that it's pretty hard writing funny stuff when you are still in a pretty depressed mood. There was certainly a darker tone to what I wrote. It felt heavy even though it still had a casual side to it. This was the chapter when I was supposed to give some psychological depth to the character, but man does it feel dark now.

Maybe it's just the way I'm interrupting it. Maybe it's not as bad as I think. Maybe in a few days when I start thinking about lollipops and butterflies again, it won't seem as heavy. Meanwhile, well, whatever.

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